Dennis Marlin

The Marlin Network

Running under the alias, "Chip Fury," Dennis Marlin orchestrated one of the most notorious glee sprees of all time. Witnesses to the incident claimed to see nothing but "a blinding flash of chrome and mylar." Rumors that he once killed a man with kindness are unsubstantiated.

Doug Austin

The Marlin Network

As a founding member of The Grin Reapers, Doug Austin pleaded guilty to nine counts of Somersault & Flattery before voluntarily admitting himself to hug rehab. As part of his community service, Doug rides with the Marlin Network, where his reckless optimism has been successfully channeled into client satisfaction and lovely crocheted trivets.

Michael Stelzer

Marlin

Wanted in nine states for hardcore philanthropy, Michael “The Blacksmith” Stelzer, leads the Marlin gang as Chief Brawl Buster. If you see Michael, please contact authorities immediately, as he is the only known witness of the James Dean & DeLuca cheese knife massacre.

Sheri Austin, Tim Bade and Greg Schutta

The Alchemedia Project

Known accomplices with a taste for high speed, these network-sociopaths have been sighted congregating in highly populated areas like Facebook, Twitter and Moterus. Along with their posse, The Alchemedia Project, they are wired for danger and should only be approached in 140 characters or less.

Phil Daniels

DEEP

Having been questioned in several instances of doppleganger activity in the greater Midwest, Phil Daniels left K.I.P. (Knights of the Irrationally Positive) and joined the DEEP riders in 2006 where he uses the raw horsepower of positive thinking to incite random acts of kindness.

Rob Corliss

Food I.Q.

Born to be wildly creative, Rob once used his bare hands to make a seven-course meal from three lemons and a mayonnaise packet. Along with his fellow culinary cavaliers at Food I.Q., Rob keeps new food ideas jumping like spit on a hot manifold.